I have been puzzling over this question and even was thinking about making a post on social media to get some feedback, except I really didn't want an argument over religious semantics. The question was, why, when some experience grief in their life does going to church become the last place on earth they would ever step foot?
I have seen it, many friends and family members, go along serving, being faithful in their church and something happens. Usually the death of a loved one. Suddenly they need a "safe place" surrounded by "safe people", they go to the movies surrounded by a host of strangers, they go shopping again surrounded by people in their community, they go on road trips, hikes, marathons, out to lunch or dinner, but Church is too hard. In my church we go for like an hour and a half, not too tough to even sit through, then there's the classes where you can participate and ask questions or give opinions. I have noticed that any time these individuals do step a foot in (usually for the rare social event) the whole time they talk about how angry they are at the people in the church and how abandoned they feel.
Mind you they are talking about people who don't go to the local church, usually they are finding fault with the hierarchy and just like to take it out on the locals. I have been saddened by this behavior especially after participating and watching while the locals in the church reached out and did all they knew how to do to bring love and support.
You can probably tell this has been a frustration for me. Who among us hasn't gone through hard things? I began to think back on some tough times in my life and specifically after having various experiences with death. There are many types of death. Divorce, actual death where someone dies. loss of a friendship, a job, you get the picture. For this example and story I will use actual death.
I remember the first time I was introduced to death. My parents took me to a dimly lit place where there was a large box with half the lid open. My dad took me up to this casket and inside were the remains of a cousin. don't really know who he was but he was a relative so we went to pay our respects. I remember my dad showing me and explaining to me that this was all that was left of him, the rest had gone to Heavenly Father. I'm sure he didn't see my look of confusion, but if he did he probably didn't know how he could have explained things any other way. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why Heavenly Father only wanted his legs and left the upper half of his body. oh the innocence of children.
Not very long after this encounter, my best friend died. have to admit that even at 7 years old I had a crush on him and would think how cool it would be if we grew up together and got married. There was an accident. 2 kids in the back of a camper and 1 in the front seat of a truck, someone ran a red light and all 3 children were killed instantly. This was someone I saw just the day before, and everyday at school we played together all the time. My best friend. Suddenly he was gone. I remember how upset and scared my mother was. we weren't allowed in the back of the camper on our truck ever again. We went to the funeral and instead of being taken to a casket to see him we saw 3 caskets on a stage of sorts, we weren't allowed to get close. They said it was so the children wouldn't be traumatized, us being all friends and all. Definite impact on my young life that now I can remember those details.
the next death I experienced in my young formative years was my kindergarten teacher. Once again we went to the funeral home and went through a line. It was interesting that she looked like she was sleeping yet they had put her glasses on. they said it was so the kids would recognize her. she would probably have looked weird without the glasses, but still, something is definitely weird about your kindergarten teacher passing away from a blood clot to the brain.
When I was about 10 my grandfather passed away. For many years I couldn't sing a particular hymn without bursting into tears. My Great Grandmother passed away shortly after I was married, I have since lost all my grandparents, I have lost Aunts and uncles, Great Aunts and Great uncles, friends, people I grew up with and went to church with, even kids I taught as youth. Some who I was there the day they were born. in very recent years, my Father, daughter in law, and my baby.
As I pondered my original question I thought back to my many experiences with death I remembered that sometimes people will say, "you don't know what it's like". This is very true. Every experience I had in my life was completely different and affected me like no other experience did. No one could possibly know exactly what I went through even if they had gone through the experience with me.
I remember when I lost my baby, it was as if the myelin sheath had disappeared from my whole nervous system. It took me a while before I could be in a large gathering without feeling like all the energy in the room was coming at me. I somehow knew though, that if I hid I would never come out of hiding. So I pushed on, and I understood that in order to heal, I had to serve. Being a Massage Therapist by trade my massage room is a place of healing. when you set out to serve others you can't help but be healed yourself.
So I kept contemplating this question, mostly because I've been struggling with the people who quit. I grew up with some of the most amazing old people ever invented. They knew and understood the gospel and loved to share it. They had been through some tough things and still pushed on and were a shining example in my life. So, my frustration has a lot to do with a selfish desire. I had hoped my children would have examples like that in their life. then something strange happened in the world.
They say the millennials are super self-absorbed. I have to submit it isn't just them, it's just their generation of time. We have old people today who have become self-absorbed and just quit. They quit on the next generation. You don't see these people at church sharing their testimony, you don't see them stepping up to teach a Sunday School class, share their wisdom with a new generation of people. They are stuck, wallowing in whatever it is they have decided to be angry about. So I kept asking God, Why won't these people stand up? Why is church the only place they refuse to go? He whispered to me.
They aren't angry at the people, they are angry at God. Great. So it's bad to be angry at God, so you take it out on the people who serve him? This answer was a bit hard to digest at first, but it makes some sense.
Logic says if you are hurting, surround yourself with friends and family who can be of a support to you. If you are grief stricken find comfort in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Find comfort with those who believe the same as yourself. For some reason in this generation, logic is thrown clear out the window.
In my case when I lost my baby I found myself perhaps in the midst of too many too fast (it was a very large crowd). But the thing I remember the most was the amount of love coming from those people, almost overwhelming. I realized I had to keep serving otherwise this feeling of anxiety would never go away, it was not enough to receive the love from others I had to share it.
It's almost like when you get an overload of energy so much that you keep getting shocked, so you go outside, take your shoes and socks off and walk through the grass to give some of that energy to the earth. Service is like that, so many want to be there to bless and serve, but we can get overloaded and we need to give back.
I think it's ok to be angry. Angry at the situation, angry with a person, Yes even angry at God. (short lived of course) it's ok to take your time to heal and grieve. It's even ok to withdraw for a time. What isn't ok is to quit. It isn't ok to take your anger out on people who try to help and bless. It isn't ok to come up with excuses, and find fault, accuse, and make things harder for everyone else who is trying to step up. It isn't ok to be a poor example for the next generation.
Go out and find a tree, have it out, get angry, yell, scream, jump up and down, but at the end of the day, if you keep living in the past, your past will become your present and it will become your future, and in the end you just hurt the ones who love you. Maybe after all of that, it's time to ask the important question, who abandoned who? Remember, your past does not define you, it's how you live your life and how you treat others despite your past that makes you who you are.
Friday, March 2, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
Are you ok without the spotlight?
The other night I had a very interesting dream that taught me some value. I dreamed that I was attending a large conference. I wasn't unfamiliar with the presenter as I had attended many classes from him. I was however intrigued with the layout.
Normally, in a large conference you find those who are interested in the class are up front and taking notes. the ones in the back usually are just there for the treats lol. This conference was a bit different.
In the front were crowds of people, good people but they all wanted one thing. Spotlight. They wanted the attention from the presenter and they most of all wanted to be on stage. As you got to about the middle of the room there were still a lot of people these people almost seemed angry at the content. (normally what you would expect from the back of the room). Then about the last 3 rows was a different crowd. they were there to just be there learn what they could not expecting glory or grandeur, listening to be taught. Of course the sound system made it easier because otherwise they couldn't have heard through all the rest of the chaos.
The Presenter had a son. He had been prepping this son to become a presenter just like himself. He had taught him and the son had become quite proficient at presenting ideas and material to the classes he taught. He was a good son and ready to go out into the world so for his last conference under the tutelage of his father he had on last assignment. he was to sit in the back of the room, never to be called on, never to be on stage, just to sit among those in the back of the room.
The son needless to say was disappointed. this was his farewell conference and he was not going to have the opportunity to speak, tell the audience what he was doing or where he was going. He was going to be lost in a sea of people without anyone really knowing who he was.
He thought about leaving, because he figured it was pointless to stay and be at the back of the room in the middle of a bunch of nobodies. He looked at the chair his father had assigned and pondered until he decided to trust the process of one last lesson whatever it was he had no idea, but he decided to make the best of the situation and tough it out.
He sat there in the assigned chair on the front of the last section of chairs, there were only 3 rows behind him and he was in the middle of the row. For probably the first few hours of the conference he was mainly annoyed, still not understanding why he was in this situation. No one even acknowledged him for being the son of the presenter.
Then it was time for interacting with those around him. Being the obedient son he was and realizing he had an opportunity to serve, he engaged with the people around him. He found that they were kind, generous, wanting to learn and grow in every way they could. He found out that he had things in common with these people, and as he moved around the room during the activities, he found more people he could relate with on a one on one basis. by the end of the conference he had formed relationships with several people and even exchanged phone numbers and found them on social media accounts.
At the end of the conference he looked around and realized the purposed for where his father had placed him. By being at the back of the room he had a full view of all that went on in front and all that went on around and he could observe the nature of people without having to be on stage. By being in the audience he was able to serve, by being out of the spotlight, his fellow classmates could open up more and share their experiences without fear. He found that in this conference were so many different types of people and each had a value. He saw up close and personal the struggles that everyday people were going through and thoughts raced through his mind of how best he could be of service. It was probably the first conference he served at that he was not so anxious to leave.
There are people who just want the spotlight. There are people who need to be heard. There are people who just want to serve, There are people who want to be taught in whatever capacity they can. And there are people who know and understand the difference.
This dream reminded me of my Savior, he didn't seek for the spotlight, he just served. He was put in the spotlight so to speak because those he served spread his word. The spotlight for our Savior was never the goal. The goal was to serve and bless and authentically care for his fellowman while bringing them back to God. I suppose the question comes back to us. What is our goal and what is our purpose when we go out to interact or to teach our fellow man?
Normally, in a large conference you find those who are interested in the class are up front and taking notes. the ones in the back usually are just there for the treats lol. This conference was a bit different.
In the front were crowds of people, good people but they all wanted one thing. Spotlight. They wanted the attention from the presenter and they most of all wanted to be on stage. As you got to about the middle of the room there were still a lot of people these people almost seemed angry at the content. (normally what you would expect from the back of the room). Then about the last 3 rows was a different crowd. they were there to just be there learn what they could not expecting glory or grandeur, listening to be taught. Of course the sound system made it easier because otherwise they couldn't have heard through all the rest of the chaos.
The Presenter had a son. He had been prepping this son to become a presenter just like himself. He had taught him and the son had become quite proficient at presenting ideas and material to the classes he taught. He was a good son and ready to go out into the world so for his last conference under the tutelage of his father he had on last assignment. he was to sit in the back of the room, never to be called on, never to be on stage, just to sit among those in the back of the room.
The son needless to say was disappointed. this was his farewell conference and he was not going to have the opportunity to speak, tell the audience what he was doing or where he was going. He was going to be lost in a sea of people without anyone really knowing who he was.
He thought about leaving, because he figured it was pointless to stay and be at the back of the room in the middle of a bunch of nobodies. He looked at the chair his father had assigned and pondered until he decided to trust the process of one last lesson whatever it was he had no idea, but he decided to make the best of the situation and tough it out.
He sat there in the assigned chair on the front of the last section of chairs, there were only 3 rows behind him and he was in the middle of the row. For probably the first few hours of the conference he was mainly annoyed, still not understanding why he was in this situation. No one even acknowledged him for being the son of the presenter.
Then it was time for interacting with those around him. Being the obedient son he was and realizing he had an opportunity to serve, he engaged with the people around him. He found that they were kind, generous, wanting to learn and grow in every way they could. He found out that he had things in common with these people, and as he moved around the room during the activities, he found more people he could relate with on a one on one basis. by the end of the conference he had formed relationships with several people and even exchanged phone numbers and found them on social media accounts.
At the end of the conference he looked around and realized the purposed for where his father had placed him. By being at the back of the room he had a full view of all that went on in front and all that went on around and he could observe the nature of people without having to be on stage. By being in the audience he was able to serve, by being out of the spotlight, his fellow classmates could open up more and share their experiences without fear. He found that in this conference were so many different types of people and each had a value. He saw up close and personal the struggles that everyday people were going through and thoughts raced through his mind of how best he could be of service. It was probably the first conference he served at that he was not so anxious to leave.
There are people who just want the spotlight. There are people who need to be heard. There are people who just want to serve, There are people who want to be taught in whatever capacity they can. And there are people who know and understand the difference.
This dream reminded me of my Savior, he didn't seek for the spotlight, he just served. He was put in the spotlight so to speak because those he served spread his word. The spotlight for our Savior was never the goal. The goal was to serve and bless and authentically care for his fellowman while bringing them back to God. I suppose the question comes back to us. What is our goal and what is our purpose when we go out to interact or to teach our fellow man?
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Money and Grief
February 29, 2016 My daddy left this earthly existence and returned home to Heaven. At the beginning of the year I said to my husband, this year is going to be an odd year. I had no idea the roller coaster it would send me on.
After my dad's passing, I kept myself busy with work, training's, and even went on a cruise with my dear husband for our silver anniversary! 2 days after we returned home we got a call that my daughter in law had passed away suddenly. She hadn't been well, but we weren't aware of any life-threatening things. so much for what you think you know. We spent the next 2 weeks planning a funeral.
The week of the funeral I had to take care of a commitment. I almost cancelled and I was advised that maybe it would be good for me to have a change of scenery, so I went to a convention, and met up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I discovered that when everyone's energy levels dropped, we all began having money problems. I already hadn't worked much due to my Dad's funeral and the subsequent training's, but my clientele just dropped to nothing. Money kept going out in every avenue, but not much was coming in. We created a fundraiser to help with the cost since there was no life insurance, and wow the blessing of that was indescribable!
So here I was on my way to a convention and no idea how I was going to pay for anything. The whole 3 hours in the car I prayed that the little amount of money I had would stretch and I would make it. God answers prayers!
I wrestled with allowing myself to immerse in the convention experience or sit back and wallow in my grief. My daughter in law meant the world to me and the hole that was left was so unbearable. I knew that I would not be able to be there for my grand children if I didn't take care of myself and get myself in order. I learned a few things in the process that I want to share. I had been through the grief of losing a baby. I had the grief of losing my dad, I have known grief, but nothing, no experience is ever the same and no loss can ever be replaced or duplicated. I learned that when in the midst of grief; make sure to not miss out on the things happening around you. A little distraction helps keep things in perspective and allows your energy levels to go up keeping you on a healthier plane. I have found that a lack of health resides on a low energy level. Many times we call it letting our system get down or tired, worn out, run down. This is all designed to bring our energy to a lower level to allow sickness to take hold.
I also began to notice when my grief was so high and my energy levels were so low that's when the money problems showed up. Money shows up on a higher energy plane. I knew that it was teared to my energy levels and once I was able to surround myself with the good energy I wasn't stressing so much about money and with God's help what I had stretched further.
There's a time for grief, it comes in waves like the ocean, the waves may hit us and knock us down, but it's what we do between the waves that counts. If we can find the strength to get back up and fight again, perhaps the next wave won't keep us down as long and perhaps the wave after that we will be able to withstand.
the lesson I learned in all of this is that yes, we have to grieve, we have to allow ourselves time to heal, but we also have an obligation to stand back up. Put the crown back on and find reasons everyday to move ahead and bless others, Don't quit! and find fulfillment in the little things we do.
After my dad's passing, I kept myself busy with work, training's, and even went on a cruise with my dear husband for our silver anniversary! 2 days after we returned home we got a call that my daughter in law had passed away suddenly. She hadn't been well, but we weren't aware of any life-threatening things. so much for what you think you know. We spent the next 2 weeks planning a funeral.
The week of the funeral I had to take care of a commitment. I almost cancelled and I was advised that maybe it would be good for me to have a change of scenery, so I went to a convention, and met up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I discovered that when everyone's energy levels dropped, we all began having money problems. I already hadn't worked much due to my Dad's funeral and the subsequent training's, but my clientele just dropped to nothing. Money kept going out in every avenue, but not much was coming in. We created a fundraiser to help with the cost since there was no life insurance, and wow the blessing of that was indescribable!
So here I was on my way to a convention and no idea how I was going to pay for anything. The whole 3 hours in the car I prayed that the little amount of money I had would stretch and I would make it. God answers prayers!
I wrestled with allowing myself to immerse in the convention experience or sit back and wallow in my grief. My daughter in law meant the world to me and the hole that was left was so unbearable. I knew that I would not be able to be there for my grand children if I didn't take care of myself and get myself in order. I learned a few things in the process that I want to share. I had been through the grief of losing a baby. I had the grief of losing my dad, I have known grief, but nothing, no experience is ever the same and no loss can ever be replaced or duplicated. I learned that when in the midst of grief; make sure to not miss out on the things happening around you. A little distraction helps keep things in perspective and allows your energy levels to go up keeping you on a healthier plane. I have found that a lack of health resides on a low energy level. Many times we call it letting our system get down or tired, worn out, run down. This is all designed to bring our energy to a lower level to allow sickness to take hold.
I also began to notice when my grief was so high and my energy levels were so low that's when the money problems showed up. Money shows up on a higher energy plane. I knew that it was teared to my energy levels and once I was able to surround myself with the good energy I wasn't stressing so much about money and with God's help what I had stretched further.
There's a time for grief, it comes in waves like the ocean, the waves may hit us and knock us down, but it's what we do between the waves that counts. If we can find the strength to get back up and fight again, perhaps the next wave won't keep us down as long and perhaps the wave after that we will be able to withstand.
the lesson I learned in all of this is that yes, we have to grieve, we have to allow ourselves time to heal, but we also have an obligation to stand back up. Put the crown back on and find reasons everyday to move ahead and bless others, Don't quit! and find fulfillment in the little things we do.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Write your story
I am one that writes my own story, I decide the person I'll be, what goes in the plot and what does not are pretty much up to me.
These are the words to one of my favorite songs from my childhood. I loved it so much I remember writing it down on a piece of paper. There have been so many years in my life where I didn't feel like I was allowed to write my own story, but I think the words were so ingrained in my subconscious that my spirit kept searching and looking for the answer to how to write my own story.
There came a day in recent years when I began to awaken. To remember that I was on this earth for more than doing laundry or running errands, or being everything for everyone else. I had a mission. I wasn't getting anywhere by not being true to the person God created. I realized that I had spent so much of my life catering to the whims of others, hoping other people liked me, trying to please everyone. and the sad thing is that in the midst of that I believed I was being Christ-like and fulfilling my mission. But something kept nagging at me.
I had blessings in my life and I wanted all that my creator had in store for me. but this one thing kept coming to haunt me. I remember being told that I was a light, a teacher, an example. And no matter what calling I had I could not get anyone to listen to me.
I didn't know I was writing a story of frustration and undervalue. I didn't know that my body language was telling people how to treat me. I didn't know that the negative voices in my head that told me no one wanted me, no one really loved me, no one cared, no one valued me. I didn't know that those words didn't belong to me, and they were so helpful in writing more of that same story. I was Stuck!
Then I learned some tools to help me and bring awareness to what I was doing, because really! you can't change anyone but yourself, and even though I had heard those words so many times, I didn't know how to change myself. I was everyone's good little helper and I got stomped on and used as a rug.
I want to share with you one tool you can use, this tool has been a lifesaver for me and has helped me connect more with God, myself, and even my angels. This tool is called journaling.
When you write your story, go big! go strong! say everything you need to say and then, (never allowing another human being to read it) destroy it. tear it up, burn it, stomp on it, whatever you need to do to allow all that "stuff" to quit being stuffed inside of you allowing you to move forward in your life.
I saw a picture of me recently and was comparing 3 different pictures. the first was taken about 5 years ago while I was in Massage school I looked like a brick. I felt like a brick, my fellow students shuttered to work on me because my tissue was brick like! I had "stuffed" so many years of hurt and pain and life experiences, because remember I wasn't allowed to have feelings, I had to be the strong one, I was everyone's little helper. It made me physically sick and brick like.
When I began to allow the past to release from my muscles, tendons, and fascia I began to physically change. The second picture I looked at was from 2 years ago before I was able to shed some weight. I look a lot better! lumpy but not brick like. This was only a year after losing a baby at 18 weeks pregnant, and I had some stuff to let go of that kept coming up and I noticed in the picture that I had somewhat of a shape to me although it was lumpy. the third picture is recent. I have shed 25 lbs with Plexus was able to get my gut in order and my blood sugar leveled, in addition to the health aspects, I was able to continue using tools to allow more "stuff" to come up and be released. I can say that I now have a waist line, and I feel great. Of course I still have more work to do, but I not only have taken control of my health, but also I am writing my story in a whole new way!
These are the words to one of my favorite songs from my childhood. I loved it so much I remember writing it down on a piece of paper. There have been so many years in my life where I didn't feel like I was allowed to write my own story, but I think the words were so ingrained in my subconscious that my spirit kept searching and looking for the answer to how to write my own story.
There came a day in recent years when I began to awaken. To remember that I was on this earth for more than doing laundry or running errands, or being everything for everyone else. I had a mission. I wasn't getting anywhere by not being true to the person God created. I realized that I had spent so much of my life catering to the whims of others, hoping other people liked me, trying to please everyone. and the sad thing is that in the midst of that I believed I was being Christ-like and fulfilling my mission. But something kept nagging at me.
I had blessings in my life and I wanted all that my creator had in store for me. but this one thing kept coming to haunt me. I remember being told that I was a light, a teacher, an example. And no matter what calling I had I could not get anyone to listen to me.
I didn't know I was writing a story of frustration and undervalue. I didn't know that my body language was telling people how to treat me. I didn't know that the negative voices in my head that told me no one wanted me, no one really loved me, no one cared, no one valued me. I didn't know that those words didn't belong to me, and they were so helpful in writing more of that same story. I was Stuck!
Then I learned some tools to help me and bring awareness to what I was doing, because really! you can't change anyone but yourself, and even though I had heard those words so many times, I didn't know how to change myself. I was everyone's good little helper and I got stomped on and used as a rug.
I want to share with you one tool you can use, this tool has been a lifesaver for me and has helped me connect more with God, myself, and even my angels. This tool is called journaling.
When you write your story, go big! go strong! say everything you need to say and then, (never allowing another human being to read it) destroy it. tear it up, burn it, stomp on it, whatever you need to do to allow all that "stuff" to quit being stuffed inside of you allowing you to move forward in your life.
I saw a picture of me recently and was comparing 3 different pictures. the first was taken about 5 years ago while I was in Massage school I looked like a brick. I felt like a brick, my fellow students shuttered to work on me because my tissue was brick like! I had "stuffed" so many years of hurt and pain and life experiences, because remember I wasn't allowed to have feelings, I had to be the strong one, I was everyone's little helper. It made me physically sick and brick like.
When I began to allow the past to release from my muscles, tendons, and fascia I began to physically change. The second picture I looked at was from 2 years ago before I was able to shed some weight. I look a lot better! lumpy but not brick like. This was only a year after losing a baby at 18 weeks pregnant, and I had some stuff to let go of that kept coming up and I noticed in the picture that I had somewhat of a shape to me although it was lumpy. the third picture is recent. I have shed 25 lbs with Plexus was able to get my gut in order and my blood sugar leveled, in addition to the health aspects, I was able to continue using tools to allow more "stuff" to come up and be released. I can say that I now have a waist line, and I feel great. Of course I still have more work to do, but I not only have taken control of my health, but also I am writing my story in a whole new way!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Accomplishments
Someone asked a question recently, "what makes you feel accomplished?" This blog post is mostly for me to reach deeper and remind myself what makes me accomplished.
LOL once I have something done and it isn't hanging over my head anymore I feel accomplished. As I look back at my life I can see that I have finished some things that are accomplishments. I have given birth to 9 children. I have raised 13. I entered my marriage as a Step-Mother and I lived! :)
I have a beautiful voice, I sang in the high school choirs of Acappella and madrigals, I was excellent in the colorguard, I am a great teacher of small children.
I am talented as a Massage Therapist, I am a great Mother, Wife, daugher, sister and friend. I love my sisters in the Relief Society and do a great job fulfilling my calling as Relief Society President.
I am a great example. I show the way and I go first. I am a wise mentor, one who has great experience and can help others along their path. I have succeeded in being in front of audiences doing presentations. I know a lot about health and herbs. I am great at quilting and have quilted many quilts.
when given a task I rise up to the challenge, I may not always succeed, but I always do my very best. I am self taught at sewing. I am musical and have challenged myself to learn the guitar. I have written several songs of my own.
I am great at being on time. mostly early. I have taken out many slivers out of kids to their dismay and relief.
I am a survivor! I have been to hell and back in my life and learned tools to keep me moving forward.
I can start a fire! no, really like a real live camp fire. lol this didn't happen until recently.
I am a wiz at the computer. I can say I know how to use it better than the kids.
I have successfully used livestream on facebook, and periscope on twitter.
I have created an alliance to help others raise their energy levels.
I have been successful as a cub scout leader. and I know how to put up a tent
warning: this list may grow in the next couple of weeks as I finish my CD and do more presentations
LOL once I have something done and it isn't hanging over my head anymore I feel accomplished. As I look back at my life I can see that I have finished some things that are accomplishments. I have given birth to 9 children. I have raised 13. I entered my marriage as a Step-Mother and I lived! :)
I have a beautiful voice, I sang in the high school choirs of Acappella and madrigals, I was excellent in the colorguard, I am a great teacher of small children.
I am talented as a Massage Therapist, I am a great Mother, Wife, daugher, sister and friend. I love my sisters in the Relief Society and do a great job fulfilling my calling as Relief Society President.
I am a great example. I show the way and I go first. I am a wise mentor, one who has great experience and can help others along their path. I have succeeded in being in front of audiences doing presentations. I know a lot about health and herbs. I am great at quilting and have quilted many quilts.
when given a task I rise up to the challenge, I may not always succeed, but I always do my very best. I am self taught at sewing. I am musical and have challenged myself to learn the guitar. I have written several songs of my own.
I am great at being on time. mostly early. I have taken out many slivers out of kids to their dismay and relief.
I am a survivor! I have been to hell and back in my life and learned tools to keep me moving forward.
I can start a fire! no, really like a real live camp fire. lol this didn't happen until recently.
I am a wiz at the computer. I can say I know how to use it better than the kids.
I have successfully used livestream on facebook, and periscope on twitter.
I have created an alliance to help others raise their energy levels.
I have been successful as a cub scout leader. and I know how to put up a tent
warning: this list may grow in the next couple of weeks as I finish my CD and do more presentations
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Just have to say something
More and more online I find a saying that rubs my spirit the wrong way. The words are not always the same but the message is the same. If you find someone in your life who is toxic you can walk away from that relationship.
The first thing I wonder when I read that is What Would Jesus Do? I'm so glad that when I become a "toxic" person my husband, parents, children, and Christ don't give up on me.
I think we all go through phases of depression, anger, frustrations, etc... and while I understand that we don't need to stay in unhealthy relationships, I have also heard many say that they needed to walk away from their responsibilities toward their spouse, parent, or child because the relationship was toxic. At what point did we become people who give up on our loved ones? Because of different religious or other types of views? What makes it ok to say to your spouse of 15 years that you can no longer be married or keep the promises of marriage because they are too toxic? I think the message we are sending to the next generation is that it's perfectly fine to walk away from our responsibilities and family relationships because we deem them as toxic.
I think there are times when people are removed from our life, by their own choice and it's probably a good idea to not chase after them, but even in that situation, where is the hand of friendship, compassion, unconditional love towards that person. I have had people move away from me, and in some cases I knew that it was God's hand that there needed to be some distance. Do I remove them from my list of friends? of course not, I recognize it for what it is, send love and caring thoughts and prayers towards them and not let it bog me down. Yes I have people in my life I don't talk to much but mostly it's because we have grown apart and no longer have things in common. The "toxic" people? those who continually gripe and complain?
I have always maintained that as long as I do my part God will do his and if it is meant for that person to have a change of heart it will be so, if not then it will be what it is and by their own choices, then they will stand on the outside looking in. NOT because I pushed them away, but because there isn't any common ground.
Let's find unconditional love for our fellow man instead of judgement and labeling
The first thing I wonder when I read that is What Would Jesus Do? I'm so glad that when I become a "toxic" person my husband, parents, children, and Christ don't give up on me.
I think we all go through phases of depression, anger, frustrations, etc... and while I understand that we don't need to stay in unhealthy relationships, I have also heard many say that they needed to walk away from their responsibilities toward their spouse, parent, or child because the relationship was toxic. At what point did we become people who give up on our loved ones? Because of different religious or other types of views? What makes it ok to say to your spouse of 15 years that you can no longer be married or keep the promises of marriage because they are too toxic? I think the message we are sending to the next generation is that it's perfectly fine to walk away from our responsibilities and family relationships because we deem them as toxic.
I think there are times when people are removed from our life, by their own choice and it's probably a good idea to not chase after them, but even in that situation, where is the hand of friendship, compassion, unconditional love towards that person. I have had people move away from me, and in some cases I knew that it was God's hand that there needed to be some distance. Do I remove them from my list of friends? of course not, I recognize it for what it is, send love and caring thoughts and prayers towards them and not let it bog me down. Yes I have people in my life I don't talk to much but mostly it's because we have grown apart and no longer have things in common. The "toxic" people? those who continually gripe and complain?
I have always maintained that as long as I do my part God will do his and if it is meant for that person to have a change of heart it will be so, if not then it will be what it is and by their own choices, then they will stand on the outside looking in. NOT because I pushed them away, but because there isn't any common ground.
Let's find unconditional love for our fellow man instead of judgement and labeling
Lessons from the River
Lessons from the River:
1. Always take a buddy on your adventures. You never know what surprises will be in store for you
2. Stop to pick up and admire rocks - they serve as stepping stones to help you along your way. Sooth and cool achy muscles after they are tumbled and refined to reveal the natural beauty of the stone.
3. Respect the River - Rivers are fun, they provide cool water and entertainment on a hot day. Water to drink, sometimes fish to eat. Rivers give life to animals, humans, and plants. it can also take that same life wiping out crops, sweeping away landscape and everything in it's path.
4. Admire the beauty of the river and all it's gifts. Rivers don't listen to the opinions of others they just carry on and flow with the majesty with which they were created.
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