February 29, 2016 My daddy left this earthly existence and returned home to Heaven. At the beginning of the year I said to my husband, this year is going to be an odd year. I had no idea the roller coaster it would send me on.
After my dad's passing, I kept myself busy with work, training's, and even went on a cruise with my dear husband for our silver anniversary! 2 days after we returned home we got a call that my daughter in law had passed away suddenly. She hadn't been well, but we weren't aware of any life-threatening things. so much for what you think you know. We spent the next 2 weeks planning a funeral.
The week of the funeral I had to take care of a commitment. I almost cancelled and I was advised that maybe it would be good for me to have a change of scenery, so I went to a convention, and met up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I discovered that when everyone's energy levels dropped, we all began having money problems. I already hadn't worked much due to my Dad's funeral and the subsequent training's, but my clientele just dropped to nothing. Money kept going out in every avenue, but not much was coming in. We created a fundraiser to help with the cost since there was no life insurance, and wow the blessing of that was indescribable!
So here I was on my way to a convention and no idea how I was going to pay for anything. The whole 3 hours in the car I prayed that the little amount of money I had would stretch and I would make it. God answers prayers!
I wrestled with allowing myself to immerse in the convention experience or sit back and wallow in my grief. My daughter in law meant the world to me and the hole that was left was so unbearable. I knew that I would not be able to be there for my grand children if I didn't take care of myself and get myself in order. I learned a few things in the process that I want to share. I had been through the grief of losing a baby. I had the grief of losing my dad, I have known grief, but nothing, no experience is ever the same and no loss can ever be replaced or duplicated. I learned that when in the midst of grief; make sure to not miss out on the things happening around you. A little distraction helps keep things in perspective and allows your energy levels to go up keeping you on a healthier plane. I have found that a lack of health resides on a low energy level. Many times we call it letting our system get down or tired, worn out, run down. This is all designed to bring our energy to a lower level to allow sickness to take hold.
I also began to notice when my grief was so high and my energy levels were so low that's when the money problems showed up. Money shows up on a higher energy plane. I knew that it was teared to my energy levels and once I was able to surround myself with the good energy I wasn't stressing so much about money and with God's help what I had stretched further.
There's a time for grief, it comes in waves like the ocean, the waves may hit us and knock us down, but it's what we do between the waves that counts. If we can find the strength to get back up and fight again, perhaps the next wave won't keep us down as long and perhaps the wave after that we will be able to withstand.
the lesson I learned in all of this is that yes, we have to grieve, we have to allow ourselves time to heal, but we also have an obligation to stand back up. Put the crown back on and find reasons everyday to move ahead and bless others, Don't quit! and find fulfillment in the little things we do.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Write your story
I am one that writes my own story, I decide the person I'll be, what goes in the plot and what does not are pretty much up to me.
These are the words to one of my favorite songs from my childhood. I loved it so much I remember writing it down on a piece of paper. There have been so many years in my life where I didn't feel like I was allowed to write my own story, but I think the words were so ingrained in my subconscious that my spirit kept searching and looking for the answer to how to write my own story.
There came a day in recent years when I began to awaken. To remember that I was on this earth for more than doing laundry or running errands, or being everything for everyone else. I had a mission. I wasn't getting anywhere by not being true to the person God created. I realized that I had spent so much of my life catering to the whims of others, hoping other people liked me, trying to please everyone. and the sad thing is that in the midst of that I believed I was being Christ-like and fulfilling my mission. But something kept nagging at me.
I had blessings in my life and I wanted all that my creator had in store for me. but this one thing kept coming to haunt me. I remember being told that I was a light, a teacher, an example. And no matter what calling I had I could not get anyone to listen to me.
I didn't know I was writing a story of frustration and undervalue. I didn't know that my body language was telling people how to treat me. I didn't know that the negative voices in my head that told me no one wanted me, no one really loved me, no one cared, no one valued me. I didn't know that those words didn't belong to me, and they were so helpful in writing more of that same story. I was Stuck!
Then I learned some tools to help me and bring awareness to what I was doing, because really! you can't change anyone but yourself, and even though I had heard those words so many times, I didn't know how to change myself. I was everyone's good little helper and I got stomped on and used as a rug.
I want to share with you one tool you can use, this tool has been a lifesaver for me and has helped me connect more with God, myself, and even my angels. This tool is called journaling.
When you write your story, go big! go strong! say everything you need to say and then, (never allowing another human being to read it) destroy it. tear it up, burn it, stomp on it, whatever you need to do to allow all that "stuff" to quit being stuffed inside of you allowing you to move forward in your life.
I saw a picture of me recently and was comparing 3 different pictures. the first was taken about 5 years ago while I was in Massage school I looked like a brick. I felt like a brick, my fellow students shuttered to work on me because my tissue was brick like! I had "stuffed" so many years of hurt and pain and life experiences, because remember I wasn't allowed to have feelings, I had to be the strong one, I was everyone's little helper. It made me physically sick and brick like.
When I began to allow the past to release from my muscles, tendons, and fascia I began to physically change. The second picture I looked at was from 2 years ago before I was able to shed some weight. I look a lot better! lumpy but not brick like. This was only a year after losing a baby at 18 weeks pregnant, and I had some stuff to let go of that kept coming up and I noticed in the picture that I had somewhat of a shape to me although it was lumpy. the third picture is recent. I have shed 25 lbs with Plexus was able to get my gut in order and my blood sugar leveled, in addition to the health aspects, I was able to continue using tools to allow more "stuff" to come up and be released. I can say that I now have a waist line, and I feel great. Of course I still have more work to do, but I not only have taken control of my health, but also I am writing my story in a whole new way!
These are the words to one of my favorite songs from my childhood. I loved it so much I remember writing it down on a piece of paper. There have been so many years in my life where I didn't feel like I was allowed to write my own story, but I think the words were so ingrained in my subconscious that my spirit kept searching and looking for the answer to how to write my own story.
There came a day in recent years when I began to awaken. To remember that I was on this earth for more than doing laundry or running errands, or being everything for everyone else. I had a mission. I wasn't getting anywhere by not being true to the person God created. I realized that I had spent so much of my life catering to the whims of others, hoping other people liked me, trying to please everyone. and the sad thing is that in the midst of that I believed I was being Christ-like and fulfilling my mission. But something kept nagging at me.
I had blessings in my life and I wanted all that my creator had in store for me. but this one thing kept coming to haunt me. I remember being told that I was a light, a teacher, an example. And no matter what calling I had I could not get anyone to listen to me.
I didn't know I was writing a story of frustration and undervalue. I didn't know that my body language was telling people how to treat me. I didn't know that the negative voices in my head that told me no one wanted me, no one really loved me, no one cared, no one valued me. I didn't know that those words didn't belong to me, and they were so helpful in writing more of that same story. I was Stuck!
Then I learned some tools to help me and bring awareness to what I was doing, because really! you can't change anyone but yourself, and even though I had heard those words so many times, I didn't know how to change myself. I was everyone's good little helper and I got stomped on and used as a rug.
I want to share with you one tool you can use, this tool has been a lifesaver for me and has helped me connect more with God, myself, and even my angels. This tool is called journaling.
When you write your story, go big! go strong! say everything you need to say and then, (never allowing another human being to read it) destroy it. tear it up, burn it, stomp on it, whatever you need to do to allow all that "stuff" to quit being stuffed inside of you allowing you to move forward in your life.
I saw a picture of me recently and was comparing 3 different pictures. the first was taken about 5 years ago while I was in Massage school I looked like a brick. I felt like a brick, my fellow students shuttered to work on me because my tissue was brick like! I had "stuffed" so many years of hurt and pain and life experiences, because remember I wasn't allowed to have feelings, I had to be the strong one, I was everyone's little helper. It made me physically sick and brick like.
When I began to allow the past to release from my muscles, tendons, and fascia I began to physically change. The second picture I looked at was from 2 years ago before I was able to shed some weight. I look a lot better! lumpy but not brick like. This was only a year after losing a baby at 18 weeks pregnant, and I had some stuff to let go of that kept coming up and I noticed in the picture that I had somewhat of a shape to me although it was lumpy. the third picture is recent. I have shed 25 lbs with Plexus was able to get my gut in order and my blood sugar leveled, in addition to the health aspects, I was able to continue using tools to allow more "stuff" to come up and be released. I can say that I now have a waist line, and I feel great. Of course I still have more work to do, but I not only have taken control of my health, but also I am writing my story in a whole new way!
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Accomplishments
Someone asked a question recently, "what makes you feel accomplished?" This blog post is mostly for me to reach deeper and remind myself what makes me accomplished.
LOL once I have something done and it isn't hanging over my head anymore I feel accomplished. As I look back at my life I can see that I have finished some things that are accomplishments. I have given birth to 9 children. I have raised 13. I entered my marriage as a Step-Mother and I lived! :)
I have a beautiful voice, I sang in the high school choirs of Acappella and madrigals, I was excellent in the colorguard, I am a great teacher of small children.
I am talented as a Massage Therapist, I am a great Mother, Wife, daugher, sister and friend. I love my sisters in the Relief Society and do a great job fulfilling my calling as Relief Society President.
I am a great example. I show the way and I go first. I am a wise mentor, one who has great experience and can help others along their path. I have succeeded in being in front of audiences doing presentations. I know a lot about health and herbs. I am great at quilting and have quilted many quilts.
when given a task I rise up to the challenge, I may not always succeed, but I always do my very best. I am self taught at sewing. I am musical and have challenged myself to learn the guitar. I have written several songs of my own.
I am great at being on time. mostly early. I have taken out many slivers out of kids to their dismay and relief.
I am a survivor! I have been to hell and back in my life and learned tools to keep me moving forward.
I can start a fire! no, really like a real live camp fire. lol this didn't happen until recently.
I am a wiz at the computer. I can say I know how to use it better than the kids.
I have successfully used livestream on facebook, and periscope on twitter.
I have created an alliance to help others raise their energy levels.
I have been successful as a cub scout leader. and I know how to put up a tent
warning: this list may grow in the next couple of weeks as I finish my CD and do more presentations
LOL once I have something done and it isn't hanging over my head anymore I feel accomplished. As I look back at my life I can see that I have finished some things that are accomplishments. I have given birth to 9 children. I have raised 13. I entered my marriage as a Step-Mother and I lived! :)
I have a beautiful voice, I sang in the high school choirs of Acappella and madrigals, I was excellent in the colorguard, I am a great teacher of small children.
I am talented as a Massage Therapist, I am a great Mother, Wife, daugher, sister and friend. I love my sisters in the Relief Society and do a great job fulfilling my calling as Relief Society President.
I am a great example. I show the way and I go first. I am a wise mentor, one who has great experience and can help others along their path. I have succeeded in being in front of audiences doing presentations. I know a lot about health and herbs. I am great at quilting and have quilted many quilts.
when given a task I rise up to the challenge, I may not always succeed, but I always do my very best. I am self taught at sewing. I am musical and have challenged myself to learn the guitar. I have written several songs of my own.
I am great at being on time. mostly early. I have taken out many slivers out of kids to their dismay and relief.
I am a survivor! I have been to hell and back in my life and learned tools to keep me moving forward.
I can start a fire! no, really like a real live camp fire. lol this didn't happen until recently.
I am a wiz at the computer. I can say I know how to use it better than the kids.
I have successfully used livestream on facebook, and periscope on twitter.
I have created an alliance to help others raise their energy levels.
I have been successful as a cub scout leader. and I know how to put up a tent
warning: this list may grow in the next couple of weeks as I finish my CD and do more presentations
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Just have to say something
More and more online I find a saying that rubs my spirit the wrong way. The words are not always the same but the message is the same. If you find someone in your life who is toxic you can walk away from that relationship.
The first thing I wonder when I read that is What Would Jesus Do? I'm so glad that when I become a "toxic" person my husband, parents, children, and Christ don't give up on me.
I think we all go through phases of depression, anger, frustrations, etc... and while I understand that we don't need to stay in unhealthy relationships, I have also heard many say that they needed to walk away from their responsibilities toward their spouse, parent, or child because the relationship was toxic. At what point did we become people who give up on our loved ones? Because of different religious or other types of views? What makes it ok to say to your spouse of 15 years that you can no longer be married or keep the promises of marriage because they are too toxic? I think the message we are sending to the next generation is that it's perfectly fine to walk away from our responsibilities and family relationships because we deem them as toxic.
I think there are times when people are removed from our life, by their own choice and it's probably a good idea to not chase after them, but even in that situation, where is the hand of friendship, compassion, unconditional love towards that person. I have had people move away from me, and in some cases I knew that it was God's hand that there needed to be some distance. Do I remove them from my list of friends? of course not, I recognize it for what it is, send love and caring thoughts and prayers towards them and not let it bog me down. Yes I have people in my life I don't talk to much but mostly it's because we have grown apart and no longer have things in common. The "toxic" people? those who continually gripe and complain?
I have always maintained that as long as I do my part God will do his and if it is meant for that person to have a change of heart it will be so, if not then it will be what it is and by their own choices, then they will stand on the outside looking in. NOT because I pushed them away, but because there isn't any common ground.
Let's find unconditional love for our fellow man instead of judgement and labeling
The first thing I wonder when I read that is What Would Jesus Do? I'm so glad that when I become a "toxic" person my husband, parents, children, and Christ don't give up on me.
I think we all go through phases of depression, anger, frustrations, etc... and while I understand that we don't need to stay in unhealthy relationships, I have also heard many say that they needed to walk away from their responsibilities toward their spouse, parent, or child because the relationship was toxic. At what point did we become people who give up on our loved ones? Because of different religious or other types of views? What makes it ok to say to your spouse of 15 years that you can no longer be married or keep the promises of marriage because they are too toxic? I think the message we are sending to the next generation is that it's perfectly fine to walk away from our responsibilities and family relationships because we deem them as toxic.
I think there are times when people are removed from our life, by their own choice and it's probably a good idea to not chase after them, but even in that situation, where is the hand of friendship, compassion, unconditional love towards that person. I have had people move away from me, and in some cases I knew that it was God's hand that there needed to be some distance. Do I remove them from my list of friends? of course not, I recognize it for what it is, send love and caring thoughts and prayers towards them and not let it bog me down. Yes I have people in my life I don't talk to much but mostly it's because we have grown apart and no longer have things in common. The "toxic" people? those who continually gripe and complain?
I have always maintained that as long as I do my part God will do his and if it is meant for that person to have a change of heart it will be so, if not then it will be what it is and by their own choices, then they will stand on the outside looking in. NOT because I pushed them away, but because there isn't any common ground.
Let's find unconditional love for our fellow man instead of judgement and labeling
Lessons from the River
Lessons from the River:
1. Always take a buddy on your adventures. You never know what surprises will be in store for you
2. Stop to pick up and admire rocks - they serve as stepping stones to help you along your way. Sooth and cool achy muscles after they are tumbled and refined to reveal the natural beauty of the stone.
3. Respect the River - Rivers are fun, they provide cool water and entertainment on a hot day. Water to drink, sometimes fish to eat. Rivers give life to animals, humans, and plants. it can also take that same life wiping out crops, sweeping away landscape and everything in it's path.
4. Admire the beauty of the river and all it's gifts. Rivers don't listen to the opinions of others they just carry on and flow with the majesty with which they were created.
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