February 29, 2016 My daddy left this earthly existence and returned home to Heaven. At the beginning of the year I said to my husband, this year is going to be an odd year. I had no idea the roller coaster it would send me on.
After my dad's passing, I kept myself busy with work, training's, and even went on a cruise with my dear husband for our silver anniversary! 2 days after we returned home we got a call that my daughter in law had passed away suddenly. She hadn't been well, but we weren't aware of any life-threatening things. so much for what you think you know. We spent the next 2 weeks planning a funeral.
The week of the funeral I had to take care of a commitment. I almost cancelled and I was advised that maybe it would be good for me to have a change of scenery, so I went to a convention, and met up with some friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I discovered that when everyone's energy levels dropped, we all began having money problems. I already hadn't worked much due to my Dad's funeral and the subsequent training's, but my clientele just dropped to nothing. Money kept going out in every avenue, but not much was coming in. We created a fundraiser to help with the cost since there was no life insurance, and wow the blessing of that was indescribable!
So here I was on my way to a convention and no idea how I was going to pay for anything. The whole 3 hours in the car I prayed that the little amount of money I had would stretch and I would make it. God answers prayers!
I wrestled with allowing myself to immerse in the convention experience or sit back and wallow in my grief. My daughter in law meant the world to me and the hole that was left was so unbearable. I knew that I would not be able to be there for my grand children if I didn't take care of myself and get myself in order. I learned a few things in the process that I want to share. I had been through the grief of losing a baby. I had the grief of losing my dad, I have known grief, but nothing, no experience is ever the same and no loss can ever be replaced or duplicated. I learned that when in the midst of grief; make sure to not miss out on the things happening around you. A little distraction helps keep things in perspective and allows your energy levels to go up keeping you on a healthier plane. I have found that a lack of health resides on a low energy level. Many times we call it letting our system get down or tired, worn out, run down. This is all designed to bring our energy to a lower level to allow sickness to take hold.
I also began to notice when my grief was so high and my energy levels were so low that's when the money problems showed up. Money shows up on a higher energy plane. I knew that it was teared to my energy levels and once I was able to surround myself with the good energy I wasn't stressing so much about money and with God's help what I had stretched further.
There's a time for grief, it comes in waves like the ocean, the waves may hit us and knock us down, but it's what we do between the waves that counts. If we can find the strength to get back up and fight again, perhaps the next wave won't keep us down as long and perhaps the wave after that we will be able to withstand.
the lesson I learned in all of this is that yes, we have to grieve, we have to allow ourselves time to heal, but we also have an obligation to stand back up. Put the crown back on and find reasons everyday to move ahead and bless others, Don't quit! and find fulfillment in the little things we do.
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